Invisible Adjunct

I hear you, IA. I can't imagine any fear greater than losing one of my children. Non-parents can't understand. I couldn't before. Parents are hostages to fortune. Anything can happen. Like the farmers who live near our house, who depend of acts of God for their livelihood, we have to accept that so much of life--the things that matter most of all--are beyond our control.

I was vacationing at the beach with my then five-year-old daughter. For various complicated reasons, we got separated and I couldn't find her - it was a crowded beach with high surf. I ran up to our hotel room (luckily, it overlooked the beach), stood on the balcony and scanned the beach desperately. Another bit of luck - she wore that day a bright orange and yellow swimsuit. Or maybe it was maternally enhanced vision or something... Anyway, I shrieked her name and she looked up and I said "Don't move," and I raced down to the beach. She was sitting calmly on a blanket with two women who had noticed she was lost and were busily feeding her huge amounts of food.

In short, a lot of us have horrible close call stories with our kids. And don't worry - your sleeplessness won't last long.

How utterly terrifying.

I'd have screamed a blue streak at that cab driver, too.

I'm very glad your son is okay!!!

Yes, you'll probably keep replaying the scene for a long time. But eventually you will sleep again. And hug your son many times over.

I no longer remember on a daily basis when my daughter opened the cab door on the expressway between LaGuardia and JFK, but I still feel that whoosh of air and remember how I flung my toddler forward to grab my four-year old daughter to keep her from vanishing out that door.

and it's true. one doesn't sleep for awhile. but it's been about 8 years now and it does fade.

take care.

Kris

I am so sorry. I am happy that you and he were not hurt. Feel Better.

Sneak into his room and give him a kiss.

Really, it will go away. Not a lot to say except I'm glad no one was seriously hurt. Having been through car accident, tooth pulling, massive cuts with stitches, and (during the "I'm an independant 19-year-old" days) the staying out all night without a phone call or flight plan, I can sympathize. It's amazing how even non-life-threatening events can stay with you. Still, I know for me I just had to keep thinking each time how lucky we were. I hate to sound like a Pollyanna, but how cool is it that so many people jumped in to help -- if even to express the rage that shock kept you from expressing? Not a great way to be reminded that there is such a thing as community, but still ...

Stopping with bad platitudes now -- take care and hug the young person and buy him more Dr. Seuss.

That is frightening. I think you did exactly what the situation called for when you took your son home and reported the cabdriver. And, to echo ADM, God bless New York's aggressive pedestrians. I hope it's some comfort to know that there were so many other people ready to help you out.

IA,

My god. If there is a more frightening thing to a parent, I can't imagine it. Your son is beautiful (I remember the pictures you posted a few weeks ago) and between my sons in age, so this posting was a cold dagger of fear in my heart. I'm so glad he's safe and the two of you will be in my prayers.

Kevin

Hope the cabbie had nightmares about it too.

Frightening and infuriating. I'm glad you and your son were not hurt physically.

I add my relief to the general sentiment, and hope that the cabbie at the very least has learned to be more damn careful. I'm amazed I haven't seen any accidents in the almost 23 years I've lived in the city. Take care of yourself and get some sleep.

IA, I'm glad you and your son are okay. Meditate, do something, to try to take your mind away from this.

THB, one does NOT, in fact, have to be a parent to "understand" this.

carla: I suspect one does. As someone who has never fathered a child but has married a mother, I am extremely aware of the intense bond that your own child creates; I observe it with awe and assume I would have felt it myself, but will never have the chance. I'm quite sure, though, that seeing your own child almost run over is not at all the same thing as seeing, say, a friend almost run over.

I'm so glad your son is okay.

And one more screaming voice at the cab driver would not have changed anything. After that shock, terror-induced numbness is fine. It is good, though, that those women helped you get his number -- hopefully the report will help some.

I'm very glad you and your son are alright.

Thanks for your comments and concern. Feeling much better.

How horrible. I've thought there's nothing worse than those incidences when I lack control over a situation and am forced to watch it played out slo-mo. Sometimes it's difficult to think of, much less determine, all the right things to do and hearing other people (as you did) is important.

Those really are the worst moments. Our daughter fell down our quite long wooden staircase when she was 1 1/2; I didn't see it, but I'll hear my wife's screams until I die. But fortunately for us, she rolled down each stair one at a time, like she was rolling down a hill, and was perfectly fine. We went to the ER anyway and it was in every respect one of the worst moments of my life--so close to disaster , so easy to imagine the unimaginable.

Hoo boy. I'm thinking of you both.