Invisible Adjunct

in the last thread i just got compared to the scary girl who tore Bart's heart out. i only vaguely remember that episode so i'm not sure if that's a compliment or an indictment, but hey, i'll take it. my favorite line also comes from the lisa-dates-nelson episode. the two are standing together when suddenly nelson's friends walk by and taunt him, saying, 'you like a girl? that's so GAY' ('or maybe it was you're dating a girl', whatever). i thought it was the smartest bit of dialogue i'd heard outside of an oscar wilde play. cultural note; the first time i ever heard of the simpsons was in second grade. we all had to make a face out of clay and like five of the girls made maggie simpson (girls like to do things in groups). i didn't know what it was because i wasn't allowed to watch non-public television, and i remained out of the social loop until high school graduation.(d'oh) i wasn't allowed to play with toys made out of plastic either; i used to gaze lustfully at my friends' My Little Pony dolls and it was all very sad. as soon as i can afford a therapist i'll tell him all about it but that's not the point, the point (obviously) is that simpsons knowledge (or lack thereof) changed my life and molded my generation or something dramatic like that. ps keep calling me fantastic and you'll never get rid of me.

Don't get carried away kid.

I don't remember who says my favorite line; maybe Nelson Muntz: "Everybody hates me. I'm going to law school."

The Ayn Rand episode is very good. It's available on DVD. Maybe Santa's reading.

I may be a commoner here, but my favorite Simpsons episode is still the one, in which Homer expands his weight to 300 pounds, so that he can go on disability and work at home. A classic. Drawing a blank on specific lines at the moment.

My favorite Simpsons dialogue moment is from the episode with the John, the gay guy who runs the antique store:

John: It's camp! [Homer looks bewildered] You know, the tragically ludicrous? The ludicrously tragic?
Homer: Oh, like when a clown dies?

Near runners-up: Lisa's line about Occam's razor and the "reverse vampires" theory (what episode was that in?) and just about any Ralph Wiggum line, really.

Is the Ayn Rand episode the one where, at the end, Homer walks into a room that's completely filled with babies, all staring at him creepily like the birds in the last scene of The Birds?

Sorry, #4 was me.

I have yet to see almost all of the new episodes from the past two years, and about half of the new episodes from the two years preceding those. Like everyone I recognize as a true Simpsons fanatic, I maintain that they've lost it. I hear reports that a silver age has dawned, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, a favorite exchange:

Robert Underdunk Terwilliger: Madam, your children are no more! ... than a pair of ill-behaved ruffians. [or something like that]
Marge: Even Lisa?
RUT: Especially Lisa. But especially Bart.

The Ayn Rand preschool is actually only the subplot of the episode in which Marge plays Blanche DuBois in the musical version of 'A Streetcar Named Desire'; John Lovitz does one of the very best guest voice spots ever.

This is in fact my favorite episode -- it surpasses the amusing and reaches for the sublime, I swear.

Favorite line: how about the opener to the episode in which Homer invents his own religion; as Marge awakens him from his dream of still being in the womb, Homer shouts 'But I'm all naked and wet!'

oh and Amanda: yes, that's the episode. It's also the one in which Marge plays Blanche in a musical version of "A Streetcar Named Desire".

(sigh) i guess you're right ogged, i should pipe down. off to spread my youthful exhuberance in some territory where people are stupider and will be more easily amused by it : ). bye!

Probably the funniest for me is a line from the episode when Homer moves out amidst marital troubles. Marge kisses Homer. Homer says, "That's the best kiss I've had all day", then voiceovers the thought "or was it?"

Other favs: Bart playing the shoulder angels for a robotic Satan -- "Come on, destroy the school. You know you want to!", then running to Satan's other shoulder: "I agree."

The entire turkey sequence in the episode where Lisa becomes militantly vegetarian. "It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good." This line is always funny, but caution -- it may be met with the rejoinder Bart gave Homer.

Having a good friend reminiscent of Flanders makes the scene with the Bible sprouting sexy legs and dancing unbelievably hilarious.

Oh, but this is hard. I mean, there's this exchange:

Homer: Lisa, honey. Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Ham??
Lisa: No!
Homer: Porkchops?!?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Yeah, right, Lisa, a wonderful magical animal...

But then there's also this:

Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- Mmm, sacrilicious.

Oh, and I could keep going. Really, must I choose?

You can't beat all the nasty insults those clever Harvard kids direct at the other schools:

Remember when Barney was the designated driver, stole Homer's car, and months later tumbled out of the trunk of a limousine? (This is the episode where Homer's car is found with a boot parked between the Twin Towers [Homer: "I don't want to go to New York. New York's a hellhole, and you know how I feel about hellholes."]). When asked what he had been doing for the past months, Barney says, "All I remember is that I gave a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner."

Or what about when Lisa gets a bad grade and bemoans the she will now have to go to Vassar. Homer: "Lisa, I don't want to hear anymore of your Vassar bashing."

I would like to think I could resist this, but no. Two lines:

1) When Homer orders weight-loss tapes to listen to while sleeping, but gets vocabulary-building tapes instead. He's shoveling down food at breakfast, and when Marge asks him if his tapes are working, he says, "Lamentably, no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety."

2) When the Devil appears to Bart in the guise of Flanders, and Bart keeps offering to sell his soul and then changing his mind. After this happens three or four times, Marge says, "Bart, stop pestering Satan!"

"All I remember is that I gave a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner."

Ha! Just thinking about this one makes me laugh.

I like the one where they find an 'angel' at the site of a new shopping mall.

Sung to the tune of "Rock Me Amadeus":
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius!
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius!
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius!
ohhhh.. Dr. Zeius!

And later on:
I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me.

Oh my god, I was wrong,
It was Earth all along,
You've finally made a monkey
(chorus) Yes we've finally made a monkey
You've finally made a monkey out of me!
I love you, Dr. Zeius!

Who can resist a Simpsons thread..

Two favorite lines come to mind:

Chief Wiggum: "Why are the pretty ones always insane?"

From the episode in which Lisa becomes a vegetarian, the vegan ativist says, "I'm a 5th Level Vegan. I don't eat anything which casts a shadow."

How about this exchange between Groundskeeper Willie and Lunch Lady Doris, in the episode in which Santa's Little Helper gets loose in Springfield Elementary:

Willie: Lunch Lady Doris, have ya got any grease?

LLD: Yes. Yes, we do.

Willie: Then grease me up, woman!

LLD: Okey-dokey.

God rest that Lunch Lady's soul.

Me fail English? That's un-possible! -- Ralph Wiggum

Bart is at the visitor center at the park where Homer is attending a corporate retreat. There's an interactive forest-fire exhibit which asks who can prevent forest fires. Bart presses the button labeled YOU. The mechanical Smokey Bear speaks: "Only WHO can prevent forest fires? You pressed YOU. Meaning me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is you."

In the episode in which Homer goes into a sensory-deprivation chamber, which goes on an excursion. Ralph sees the smooth, white chamber wash up onto the beach. "Look, Daddy! A whale egg!"

all good.

My favorite episode (so many classics):

Lisa winning Springfield's "Big Science Thing" after figuring out the phermone trigger for bullies.

My favorite "biting social commentary" line (again, so many classics, and I think I have this quote wrong -- apologies to Simpsons purists):

Homer: "now the airplanes are flying where they belong: over poor people's houses"

Sorry, but Family Guy is better than the Simpsons. And let us now engage upon the next battle in the unholy eternal crusade that is the "Simpsons - Family Guy" flamewar.

Ben Wolfson said he has heard reports that a Silver Age of the Simpsons has dawned; is it true? I haven't watched the show since around 1999 or 2000. The last new episode I remember was the one when a Mary Poppins look-alike visited their home, and everyone sang songs. "It's jumped the shark," I thought.

Random quote, from Martin's campaign to be elected class president:

Martin: "I also promise to stock our libraries with the ABC's of science fiction: Asimov, Bester, Clarke!"

Milhouse: "What about Ray Bradbury?"

Martin (dismissively): "I am familiar with his work."

Best spisode ever? "Krusty Gets Kancelled," from 1993. Johnny Carson, Luke Perry ("My face! My beautiful face!") Bette Midler, Elizabeth Taylor, Hugh Hefner guest starred. The "Worker and Parasite" cartoon almost put me in the hospital, I was laughing so hard.

"I like the one where they find an 'angel' at the site of a new shopping mall."

I like that one too. Especially when they're all standing on the hillside waiting for the apocalypse, and Patty and Selma light up their final cigarettes and say "We did it. We beat cancer!"

Oh, and how could I forget the "Treehouse of Horror" segment with the undead Billy the Kid?

Lisa: Poor William Bonney! He died so young!
Bart: Lisa's got a dead boyfriend! Lisa's got a dead boyfriend!
Lisa: He is not my dead boyfriend. He's a dead boy who happens to be my friend.

My favorite line is from the episode where Bart gets the new expensive dog, and Santa's Little Helper runs away to live with a blind man. Bart decides to break into the blind guy's house to take his dog back, and Lisa tells him to try not to be too ridiculous (or something along those lines). He replies, "I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try."

Runner up (Homer, from the missionary episode): "I'm not not licking Toads.")

Kent Brockman. Anchor, cannibal, traitor, bible scholar. Is there anything he CAN'T do?

A few of my favorite Brockman lines:

KB: "Tragic news tonight ... 100 dead in a tidal wave in koo ... ka ... kooalalal .... FRANCE!"

...

KB: "Not knowing what's happened, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack open each other's heads and feast on the goo inside?"

(some guy): "Yes I would, Kent."

...

KB: "One thing is certain: there is no stopping them, the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords, and would like to remind them that a trusted TV personality may be very helpful in rounding up others to toil in their sugar caves."

(later)

"This reporter would like to affirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. May not be perfect, but its the best government we've got. For now."

...

KB: "At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty, and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could incite other women leading to anarchy of biblical proportions. It's in REVELATIONS, people!"

Ok, I'll stop now. Except I have to note my favorite non-Brockman line of all time, from the cat burglar episode:

Homer: "So it seems the cat has been caught by the very man who was trying to catch him!"
Smithers: "How ironic."

The best Simpson's line comes in the episode where Homer and Barney are competing to be the first "regular guy" astronaut. After the competition is over the judge announces something like:

"In a way, you're both winners. But in another, more accurate way, Barney's the winner."

I have two favorites.

First, when Homer does something (I forgot what) and impresses himself so much that he celebrated by dancing around and singing, "I - am - so smart, S - M - R - T..."

I also like when they're trying to teach the Schwarzenneger-like character to recite the corny pun "Up and 'Atom'!" as part of his role as Radioactive Man, and he keeps normalizing it to "Up and At Them!"

I thought the Shary Bobbins episode wasn't bad--there were some good lines, like the exchange with Groundskeeper Willie ("that wasn't what you said the first time you saw me!").

Most of what Disco Stu says is funny--I'm dreading the eventual episode that focuses on him and ruins it.

Sigh. This is much more fun than grading.
Policing the Simpsons thread:

Post #10, it was a Pig, not a Turkey. Leading to the following exchange:

MB: Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to that orphanage.
WS: Really, sir?
MB: Yes, when pigs fly!
(laugher, followed by an airborne pig sailing overhead)
WS: Will you be making that donation, sir?
MB: No.

#17: That episode is actually several years after Lisa's conversion to vegetarianism; at that point she's becoming a radical environmental activist (tree-sitter).

Russell, I'd say the show is better than it has been the last three years. A silver age might be a bit of a stretch. My general assessment of recent years is that there are a few gems each season, and many more episodes that are very funny for the first 5 minutes or so. Then, they settle down to some unwatchable plot. This year, there have been a few more good all the way through episodes, and there have been some where the relatively successful zany plotlessness goes on for 2/3 of the show, and the exerable plot is contained in the last third. I'd say this season has provided evidence the show's not dead.

I sympathize with the choice of Streetcar named Marge, but I'd probably go with "Marge vs. the Monorail" as my favorite.

Ah yes, the pig is right. The ending credits are even some folk-tunesy song that plays while the pig flies through the air. School so messes with one's head it's hard to remember the really important stuff in life (such as the crayon up Homer's nose).

"Oh come, now. You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at clown college?"
"I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."

(The deplorable grammar and punctuation of that last should be attributed to my too-rapid paste-up job rather than to the Terwilliger brothers.)

Breaking from the pattern of the posts, I suggest a new topic - favorite recurring bit player (must be less frequent than once per episode). Now, the obvious choice is comic book guy, but I have to say that my favorite is Gil, the schlubby salesman (although Roger Meyers Jr, the head of Itchy and Scratchy Inc. is a close second). Gil turns up about every 10th episode or so, as a doorbell/used car/real estate salesperson ("don't take the balloon, I was living in there") . Very Willy Loman, or some such...

"Breaking from the pattern of the posts, I suggest a new topic - favorite recurring bit player (must be less frequent than once per episode)."

I have no idea if he's shown up at all over the last few years, but until I stopped tuning in, hans-down: Sideshow Bob ("The truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!").

Heh, heh, heh. Lisa, vampires are make believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I can't believe there have been 37 comments and no one has mentioned the classic from the "Simpsons visit Japan" thread. Homer, responding to Marge's insistence that he had liked Rashomon: "That's not the way I remember it!"

The funniest Simpsons episode ever is the tomacco episode. Great Homer line, after slapping a southern gentleman: "Aww, why'd I have to challenge somebody who says "Sah!"?

Plus, a great B-52s remake. "Glove slap, baby, glove slap. Glove slap, I don't take crap."

And the absolte filthiest joke ever to get by the television censors:

"Sneed's Feed & Seed (Formerly Chuck's)"

How about favorite song? Although "Monorail!" is good, my favorite is "Checking In" from the Betty Ford Musical that Lisa, Bart, and Marge see on their trip to NYC.

The funniest Simpson's line:

It's during the Springfield film festival episode, after Homer watches the film "Man Gets Hit in Groin with Football", where Homer says:
"It works on so many levels!"

Although a close runner-up is when Barney wins the prize, a truckload of Duff beer, and says,
"Just hook it into my vein!"

Oh, the humanity!

I liked:

"We're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears!"

Also, Homer sings "The Flintsones" song.

The tomacco episode is terrible!

As for bit players, I'd exclude Sideshow Bob, as several episodes have turned on him, and go for one of Lenny and Carl, Lou and (other cop), or the blue-haired, balding guy who, in Krusty Gets Kancelled, says "nono, I'm quite low-brow!" and "This I gotta see!"

The one I quote most often: "Ah, alcohol. The cause of, and cure for, all of life's problems..."

That is indeed a classic, Redshift. And I've just remembered another: during the bowling-team episode, when Homer's team starts squabbling and losing, Apu points to the rival Stereotypes (including the school janitor, the guy who says "Arr!," and I forget who else) and says bitterly "They begged me to join them!"

Dunno how to transcribe it, but one favorite line comprises the sounds Angela Lansbury makes while walking over hot coals.

Favorite Kent Brockman line of all time:

"Now, here are some results from our phone-in poll: 95% of the people believe Homer Simpson is guilty. Of course, this is just a television poll which is not legally binding, unless proposition 304 passes. And we all pray it will."

First, when Homer does something (I forgot what) and impresses himself so much that he celebrated by dancing around and singing, "I - am - so smart, S - M - R - T..."

He's just gotten his high school diploma, I think...either that or finally passed nuclear physics.

The best part of that little bit (which is one of my favorites, too) is that at somepoint in there he sets the grade/diploma on fire. :)

although I think my two favorite lines are both "where the hell did Homer come up with that?!" lines:

- "But Apu, karma can only be distributed by the universe." (Homer gets Apu fired)

- "Even communism works in theory. In theory, Bart." (I think it's the Stampy episode. Alas, I fear I'm remembering it wrong, even though I used the line in a paper for a Marxism class I took in college.)

But the one I probably use most often is "discover your desks" from the first-ever regular episode. I've always heard that the alternative school that Bart goes to in that one is based on Evergreen State College.

"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

Found here, along with many other excellent quotes ("Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy." "Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?" "Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.")

Threads getting old, but I'll still pitch in:

Homer, grabbing the phone during another household emergency: "Quick, what's the number for 911?!"

And of course,

Homer again, when Marge appears at the nuclear plant, and a riff on An Officer and a Gentleman ensues: "I'm going out to the car to make love to my wife, and I won't be back for ten minutes!"

I know this isn't exactly right, but here goes:

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One way is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I took the ferry to Morganville, which is what Shelbyville was called back then. I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry you needed a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter,' we'd say. Now, where was I? The important this is, I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any green onions on account of the war, so I had to wear one of these yellow ones."

This a like trying to choose one's favorite child, but here goes:

1) There's the episode where Homer joins the Stonecutters secret society but is banished after destroying the group's sacred parchment. The members strip him naked and attach the "Stone of Shame" to his neck, but when they notice that he has the holy birthmark on his ass, the High Priest exclaims, "Remove the Stone of Shame -- (Homer: Woo hoo!) -- and attach the Stone of Triumph!! (Homer: Doh!)"

2) And then there's the episode where Homer becomes grotesquely obese in order to claim disability and work from home. It all turns out for the best though when he is able prevent a meltdown at the nuclear plant by literally plugging up the reactor with his fat rear. Bart sums it up perfectly by stating, "Wow, that's the first time Dad's butt PREVENTED the emission of toxic gases!"

3) But my favorite Simpson's quote of all time has to be the one attributed to the founder of Springfield, Jebediah Springfield: "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."

Homer is being tricked by a decoy pie sitting on the floor:

"Mmm! Floor pie!"

Actually I didn't quite see what was so hilarious about the line, but it caused a living room full of philosophy graduate students to collapse on the floor, barely breathing.

Jimbo Jones: "You let me down, man. Now I don't believe in nothing no more. I'm going to law school."

"You have selected 'Regicide'. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press 1!"

Oh shoot, Alan (#56) has the correct particulars on the line I misremembered at #2.

From the episode where Homer changes his name to "Max Power":

"You don't cuddle with Max Power, you strap yourself in and feel the G's"

A couple of cherished moments:

When Homer wants Flanders out of town he sends him a note that reads, "Dude, meet me in Montana. Love, Jesus H. Christ"

Or Ned listing Rod's (or is it Todd's?) hobbies for that kiosk bought customized story video for his birthday: "My hobbies are being quiet on
trips, clapping along with songs, and diabetes!"

My faves come from the "Homerpalooza" episode:

Grandpa Simpson: "I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me."

Homer: "Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact."

And, of course, the final dialogue in the car on the way home:

Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square".
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart & Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart & Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right?
Bart & Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you *be* cool? I feel like we've tried everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't *need* to be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?

Wow, man, that's like, so deep! :-)

this best lines in any simpsons episode have got to come out of the mouth of the king himself...homer

my favourite line is when homer is talkin to marge about the gay guy he makes friends with who runs an antique store and has a convertable car.

Homer: they're embaressing me!, they're embarissing america!, they turned the navy into a floating joke, they ruined all our best names like Bruce and Lance and Julian, those were the toughest names we had, and now there just.......

Gay Guy:..... Quier

Homer: yeah! and thats another thing! i resent yooou people using that word! thats our word for making fun of you!! We need it!!!

that was homers thought on gays